Been feeling exceptionally angsty and emotional in the past 48 hrs...I can't even remember the last time i felt this depressed before (i think it has to be enlistment day couple of years back). Me wanting to go out and 喝闷酒 means a big deal (i really don't drink). Eventually took the mrt for abt an hour around the island and was at starbucks till abt 230am (I'm an early sleeper, as in really really early)
i guess it's the overall confusion. After months and months of planning, visa application, interviews, trips to the travel agency, sourcing around for air tickets and all the minute administrative details, this is finally it! Can't help but feel like something might cropped up last minute...i am very terrified that Murphy's law will strike at the last minute...missing the plane, losing my luggage, being barred from entering the States. It struck yesterday...my luggage bag failed me:(((
This is weird. I think i'm getting homesick before i even leave. I'm actually pretty used to going overseas...went to India and Australia with SAF. But i guess it's slightly different this time cos it used to be a much larger group in the past, with more friends, Singaporeans and links to home. This time, it's just me and myself, traversing unknown territory...but i guess this is the fun of it and why i signed up in the first place.
This is my room...i will miss u...especially my pillow and bolster
And chief of all, my book cupboard and the fantasies locked inside it
There's also another reason for all these confusion but it's rather personal and not related to the trip.
Just went out of my room and saw the stack of USDs...stress again
I dunno if i want time to pass slowly or quickly...dunno if i want the trip to pass slowly or quickly...dunno what i want, dunno what to do, just question marks in my life now
Mark
PS: I know i always have something to add after my post, but i really can't think of any of my usual wise-cracks to add this time. This is saying a lot...
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